Teenage Angst"
by little miss muffet1
Summary: Buffys back from her summer exile, and Dawn ain't too happy about it....


"Teenage Angst"

"**_Teenage Angst"_**

by Little Miss Muffet

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, they belong to my idol and religious father figure in life Joss *I am a god* Whedon and the people at Fox and Mutant Enemy. I get no money from these stories, just a satisfied feeling from expressing all interest in undeveloped plots from the show. No copy rights infringements are intended, and nothing will be gained from suing my tight little ass, believe me, I have NO money. If you should choose to sue me however, expect a great deal of Buffy merchandise and possibly a few packets of toilet roll (got it on special deal at my local supermarket, needless to say, I stocked up). 

Authors notes; Ok my second fic, in response to those reviews I received, believe me I appreciate them a great deal. I hope this satisfies your curiosity, and I hope I made it good enough. This story is dedicated to them; they inspired me to write it, and convinced me that maybe I don't completely suck at writing. Thank you, once again if you wanna contact me, do so at [lil_loll@yahoo.co.uk][1] . Reviews are needed so, get typing!

*this story is set at the beginning of Season three, about the middle of Dead Man's Party, taken from Dawn's PoV on Buffy's return, and I may add another chapter later, from the PoV of Buffy's diary. Hmmm thinking new series running along side the current…

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I hate her, I really do. After she comes back, just strolls in, she expects everyone to just fall at her feet and worship her like nothing even happened. I don't understand, I am so angry at her, I, I hate her. I feel bad for it, but I do. After all this time, she walks into my life again, and it made me realise, things were better without her. God, god god god, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr GOD! Who does she think she is anyway, who does she think she is! Three months she has been away, three months I thought she was, I don't know what I thought. I thought she was dead, that she was never coming back, I stopped caring, gave up, moved on. Now she's back…

I came home from school and there she was, in the kitchen with Mom. I saw her and I flipped. I ran to her and just hugged her, like I was clinging on for dear life. I needed her, to hold her, to convince myself that it was real and not just another fantasy my warped little mind cooked up. But there she was, in the flesh, live and kicking, and…different. She wasn't the same buffy I had known those months before, the sister I love and cherish with all my heart, and the sister I argue with constantly. She was _changed, _likeshe had shut down who she was, and the new Buffy wasn't _my_ Buffy.

Sure, she looks like my buffy, she smells like her, and she feels like her, but she isn't her. My Buffy would never leave me, never go away like that and hurt me like she did. My Buffy smells of Vanilla and Sandalwood and her skins soft and warm. My Buffy loves me, she understands me, she fights with me. We understand each other, we are the same. The Buffy that's here now, she isn't my Buffy. The new Buffy is cold, she doesn't look at me, she can't meet my gaze. The new Buffy shys away from my touch, she smells like apple pie and cinnamon, she has moved on, she's closed up, she doesn't care. 

Of course, as per usual, to find anything out around here I have to listen in on conversations, mostly between Mom and Mr Giles. They were talking about her coming back, Mr Giles is happy, I can tell. But I also know he doesn't like to be around her that much, he knows that Buffy changed when she was away, and he also knows he did. Mom on the other hand, well Mom is different. Mom acts like nothing happened, like Buffy just spent the summer with my long absent poor excuse for a father. She hails from the land of Denial, and she too can't stand to be around Buffy.

She chit-chats, babbles on around her, they don't talk though, they don't talk about her leaving. Mom's too afraid to ask, and Buffy, she doesn't wanna talk about it. I can tell something happened, the way her eyes seem so… I don't know. Her eyes, they are so full of pain. Like someone died and she is numb. But, hey, what does she know about pain. Wanna know about pain? Well how about my pain? She left, took of, vanished, skidaddled… got the hell outta dodge, went haywire. She took off, left without warning. I wouldn't believe she was gone, that she would purposefully leave me behind without so much as telling me. Sure she let a letter, but what did that letter say? How about,_ I am sorry for leaving, I had a lot to deal with. You couldn't possibly understand my pain because I am so special, blah blah bla balh blah blah. Oh yeah and I'm a big B-I-T-C-H that has no consideration for those around her, and Mom this is all you're fault. _

You know, I believed all along that Mom was to blame, after all she had kicked Buffy out. I hated her for it, I think she ended up feeling as though she lost both her daughters that night, and I was glad. She deserved it. But Buffy… I am most mad at her, not for the fact that she got into something she couldn't handle, or that she even lied to me all these years (turns out she actually is a Vampire Slayer after all, cool huh!), but the fact she doesn't trust me enough to confide in me. It hurts. It hurts a lot. And I understand the way she feels. I'm just her stupid kid sister, what would I possibly understand about pain?

I hurt too, sometimes I think that I don't even belong here with everyone else, like my life is just a blip, a dot, a microscopic event that no one else cares about. Like somehow, I was put here just cause no one else wanted me, and Buffy made me think I was someone. I was a huge deal, special. When she left, she took away everything she made me, I was insignificant, forgotten. She took away my identity.

Now she's back. Once again she's the centre of attention, everyone gathering round her, thinking she's special. The only thing I take comfort in is that no one is happy she's back. Oh sure, they're glad she's back, glad that they don't have to feel guilty any more, but they are angry at her. They almost HATE her, they think she ruined their lives! They're right. She did, and now she has to deal with the consequences…

As for me, I HATE her, she hurt me, I gotta find a way to hurt her back. She'll see that I'm more than she thinks, if only she knew…

Everyone's dealing with her return in their own way. I like Xander's way the best. He started to shout at Buffy, telling her she hurt him and that she was stupid for running away. He's right, she was stupid. He went a little too far though, they almost started fighting, then there was a zombie invasion or something, I'm a little unsure of the details on that, but, I don't really care so it kinda works out ok that I don't know. Anyway, they almost came to blows, he was out of line, but maybe Cordelia should have socked her one. That would have been cool!

Now Willow on the other hand, she's stupid. The only time I think I'll ever call her that! I love Willow, she's the kind of sister I wanted, but I got Buffy… Willow found Buffy just about to leave, take off again. She stopped her, I think she should have let her go, it would have been better for everyone if she never came back. Well, they started to talk, Mom walked in, huge argument followed and then there was the whole blow-up in front of the entire party. It was horrible, but then the zombie thing again… and everyone forgave her. They worked out their differences, it must be nice for them. I still feel hurt. She won't get away with it that easily… She has to understand. I'll make her.

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Well, what do you think? It was kinda hurried, but I hope that my point got across, this story is by no means over. Comments to me at the above address, make a girl happy! Review! I think the title captures Dawns self involved perspective perfectly, (yeah, it is borrowed from Placebo, and my last story, "Do what you have to do", the title's taken from Sarah Mclaughlan. No copyright infringments intended, just borrowing them.) Sorry for bad grammer, just came in from a party, am tired and I wrote it on a Friday night so please don't dispise me for them. Should I write Buffy's slant or continue with the series? Should I continue the series? Comments please!

   [1]: mailto:lil_loll@yahoo.co.uk



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